The website of author C.L. Wells

Essay #7 – Iron sharpens Iron

by Christopher Wells 4/2025

Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17 NASB

In this essay I will discuss how many churches shut down discussion of uncomfortable issues that need to be addressed, provide some reasons why this is so, and lastly provide some reasons why we should create a significant space in the Christian church for asking and discussing difficult questions.

It has been my observation in a number of different churches in numerous denominations over multiple decades of church attendance and membership that the Christian church is, by and large, not a place where open discourse about certain spiritual topics is welcomed.  To be sure, you can find a wide range of classes on various topics of spiritual interest and education—many of which are instructive for spiritual growth and advancement—but dare to raise a topic or opinion that touches on one of the sacred cows of that particular group, and you can swiftly find yourself ignored at best, and at worst, actively shunned by church leadership.  In fact, many churches go to great lengths to plan out any interaction in the majority of their meetings with the effect of minimizing free-flowing spiritual discussion in a group format.  Those group discussions that do occur are usually carefully scripted, with leaders or moderators trained to keep the discussion on a specific topic or train of thought and discourage any deviation from the approved set of questions likely already pre-printed on a handout or hand-fed by the facilitator of the group.

Whether by design or tradition, the practice of controlling speech in the Christian church effectively suppresses discussion on many topics of spiritual importance among the members of the congregation in a group format.  This practice is not only counter-productive to Christian growth but it is often used by church leadership to constrain and control the speech of the congregation to only ‘approved’ topics and avoid discussion on any potentially embarrassing or controversial beliefs or practices that may well need to be exposed to the light of day and re-examined or addressed as a group.

Don’t believe me?  Try picking a belief that your church holds dear and find a way to have a group discussion about the Biblical soundness of said belief and see how fast you experience the level of control your particular church group exerts over the process.  Don’t have a particular topic in mind?  Depending on your denomination or church beliefs, one of the following topics will almost certainly reveal exactly how free your church is in this arena:

• Is the belief that women should be subservient to men actually supported by the Bible?
• Is the belief that speaking in tongues is no longer a valid expression of being filled with the Spirit of God correct?
• Should the church be led by a single head pastor or a company of elders—what does the Bible say?
• Does our church provide enough protection for attendees against spiritual or physical abuse?

Chances are, if you express interest in one of the above topics and it threatens to expose one of your church’s dearly-held beliefs to close Biblical scrutiny and open discussion, you will experience just how open (or closed) your church is to the free discussion of sensitive topics.  Will the discussion or study even be allowed?  Will it be allowed, but only under the close supervision and moderated discussion of a church leader?  Will everyone be allowed to ask questions and present their opinion and interpretation of what they believe the Bible says about the topic, or will they be shut down if they deviate too far afield from the official church-endorsed doctrinal belief on the topic?

The truth is that no church is perfect, and even churches led by a Godly pastor can miss the mark and require some re-examination of particular beliefs or practices in order to make adjustments.  Yet, sadly, in many churches, there is no process whereby the congregation can even discuss such matters without being accused of divisive behavior and labeled as the enemy by church leadership.  This ought not to be.

There are many different denominations in existence today for a very specific reason.  In most cases, the reason a new denomination is formed is because the originating denomination shut down the expression of differing beliefs by a subset of their membership.  Thus repressed, this group found no recourse but to remove themselves and form a new group where their voice could be heard, thus creating a place where their interpretation could be discussed and propagated.  Martin Luther’s ninety-five theses exposed many teachings in the Catholic Church that he considered un-Biblical.  The leadership of the Catholic Church ultimately persecuted him for it, and he had no recourse but to leave that denomination and form a new association of believers, which ultimately became known as the Lutheran Church.  A study of how the various Christian denominations came into being is essentially a study of how one group repressed the liberty of another group to hold a different opinion on a certain topic.  Baptism?  Small group meetings?  Beliefs on the Holy Spirit?  You name it, and there is one group of Christians that repressed another group that believed differently on the topic, and a new division (read new denomination) was started in the Body of Christ.

But God is not afraid of such discussions, so why should we be?

The scriptures speak of iron sharpening iron in Proverbs 27:17.  The result of two iron blades gliding against one another in a certain fashion produces two sharper blades.  So also, when believers discuss the Word of God and matters of a spiritual nature, all can come away with a deeper insight and a keener understanding of the topic.  It is an unfortunate truth that too many gatherings of the faithful in today’s churches have become merely indoctrination sessions instead of opportunities to sharpen one’s understanding through open discussion and asking questions.  In fact, in many churches, merely questioning the status quo beliefs held by the head pastor is grounds for being accused of divisive behavior and possibly experiencing church discipline.

Of course, many pastors would counter that questions are welcome, and anyone with a question should feel free to come to one of the church leaders and ask them.  But this is often a convenient way to shut down difficult questions without risking discussion of particular topics in an open forum.  With this format of handling questions about church teachings or practices, the congregant is encouraged to meet one-on-one with a church leader to ask their question or raise their concern, and then—if it is a difficult or controversial question—the leader gives the ‘approved’ answer that has been blessed by the head pastor in many cases.  If this placates the questioner, then the crisis is averted, and no more is said of the matter, thus ensuring that no one else in the congregation has been encouraged to question the same belief or teaching themselves. 

A second tactic that is used to quell uncomfortable questions or discussion of doctrinal difficulties is the bully tactic.  To employ this tactic, whenever a question arises concerning a pet doctrinal viewpoint, the pastor will often use their often formidable debate skills and Biblical knowledge to bully or embarrass the questioner into silence.  Outmatched by the pastor’s oratory skill and made to look like a fool or a reprobate in front of others, few people will venture out twice to ask questions they know will meet such opposition.

If, however, the congregant still expresses concern or doubt about the party line answer, they may be shuttled off to speak to the head pastor in a private meeting.  However, at the end of the day, if the congregant expresses a firm belief that the pastor-approved teaching isn’t correct, or the church practice isn’t appropriate or scriptural, they may very well find themselves on the list of people who no longer get teaching opportunities within said congregation.  And, if they continue discussing their differing beliefs or opinions about the topic with others in the congregation, they will often get a warning from church leadership to stop, or else they could be labeled as ‘divisive,’ which all good church members know means that they will be shunned from fellowship if such a label is applied by church leadership.

What I have described above, or some variation thereof, is a practice that is followed in many churches as a methodology to control the narrative of what is discussed and/or taught in a local body of believers.  It is often well-intended but is also a form of spiritual abuse of power. 

The basis of shunning a person who is ‘divisive’ or ‘factious’ as the NASB translates it, comes from the following scripture:

[Tit 3:9-11 NASB95] 9 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and strife and disputes about the Law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. 10 Reject a factious man after a first and second warning, 11 knowing that such a man is perverted and is sinning, being self-condemned.

The principle is sound, but often, the way many church leaders apply it isn’t.  Many church leaders interpret the above scripture to mean, in essence, if you dispute anything the head pastor teaches and don’t shut up after the second warning, then you are perverted, sinning, and self-condemned, so you should be shunned.  This interpretation is often used to shut down any discussion on inconvenient pet-theologies or controversial topics that the head pastor or the denomination in question doesn’t find appealing or feels isn’t something that needs to be discussed.  It is spiritual abuse when a well-meaning, sincere believer is labeled a divisive troublemaker to be avoided simply because they dare to question or dispute the pet beliefs or practices of a particular church or denomination.  We can all benefit from thoughtful re-examination of our beliefs and practices from time to time.  It is one of the chief ways we become more like Christ—to come to the conclusion that what we believe or what we are doing is not as correct as it should be, then to forsake what is not right and move closer to Godly truth.  Being willing to engage with others so that God might speak through them to help us in this process (or speak through us to help them—usually, it goes both ways) should be a part of a normal Christian life.  God does not only speak to you through the head pastor at your church.  He can speak through you to them, too.

Reasons some oppose open forums

As promised, I will now move on to provide five reasons why church leaders often avoid or oppose the creation of spaces in the church for true open discourse on difficult or controversial topics:

1. They are afraid of people being led astray by cunning arguments presenting false doctrine.

While it is true that by tightly controlling discussion inside the officially sanctioned church meetings some harmful false doctrine can be kept at bay, it can also become a situation whereby false doctrine is actually kept unaddressed that originates from within the church.  See Galatians 2:11-21 where Paul called out Peter, who was deceived into temporarily creating a caste system within the church, for an example of false doctrine coming from within.  Peter repented because Paul openly confronted him about his error.  The best defense against false doctrine is to discuss it openly, shedding the light of scripture and sound interpretation on it, not to pretend that it does not exist or to refuse to examine it openly.

1. Questioning is how we learn.  If we don’t ask questions, we don’t learn. 

The role of the five-fold ministers is to equip the saints for works of service (Eph 4:12).  If a believer has a question that is causing them to doubt or leaving a deficit in their understanding, they should be allowed to ask the question and discuss the answer.  Failing to provide a space to do so is a dereliction of the responsibility of the teacher.  We can see this principle in action in Matthew 19:1-12 where Jesus is engaged with the Pharisees in a discussion about divorce.  Both Jesus and the Pharisees are asking questions that lead to a deeper and more correct understanding of the topic at hand.  Jesus didn’t scold the Pharisees for questioning Him.  Instead, He used it as an opportunity to more accurately explain the truth. 

2. Learning rote facts without asking questions leaves the hearers unprepared to confront others who ask questions they haven’t been taught to answer yet.  Discussion of these topics can lead to questions being asked and answered that deepen all of our understanding and equip us to better explain Biblical principles and teachings to others.

3. Questioning a theory or teaching can expose flaws in it that can ultimately lead to strengthening a good teaching to make it better or expose a faulty or incorrect belief and prompt a re-examination of it.  Either way, the result is moving towards truth.

The first to plead his case [seems] right, [Until] another comes and examines him. (Proverbs 18:17 NASB95)

Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.  (Proverbs 27:17 NASB95)

4. If we do not question what we are being taught, we have not really followed the command of scripture to study and show ourselves approved, rightly dividing the word of truth.  It is only through questioning what we are taught that we can either confirm a teaching to be true or expose it as a lie.  God is not afraid of people asking questions.

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. (2 Timothy 2:15 KJV)

5. Questioning leads to a more correct understanding of the truth when we use the Bible as our guide.

6. Untold numbers of Christians leave the organized church because they are exasperated by repeatedly being shut down and silenced by church leaders when they bring up legitimate issues that need to be addressed.  The church needs to stop being a place where free speech is only available to the head pastor and their designees and become a place where open discussion can lead to necessary change and strengthening of timeless truths. 

The Christian church desperately needs to create spaces where it is safe to discuss difficult topics, re-examine firmly-held beliefs, and wrestle with theological issues from both inside and outside the church.  Currently, many churches effectively oppose this either by neglect or active opposition.  I’ve listed some reasons why this is so and provided some specific reasons why it is important to establish significant and recurring open forum spaces in the church.  It is time for the people of God to begin advocating for change in the local church.

Bibliography:

KJV – The King James Bible. Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org

NASB95 – New American Standard Bible.  Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org